From Roger's ramblings Our local Mr Whippy was found lying face down on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.The police say that he topped himself.!!!

From Rogers Ramblings the following: A woman came home screeching her car to a halt in the driveway and ran into the house. She slammed the door shut and at the top of her lungs shouted,"honey, pack your bags! I've just won eleven million pounds on the lottery" The husband replied,"oh my god! thats wonderful! What should I pack, beach stuff or posh city centre gear?" "Does'nt matter" she said,"Just get out"

Kingfishers senior Britsh league team have become champions of Division 3 South and West,a superb effort from all the players. More details to follow

The club are pleased to announce that the Sport England Clubmark status has been awarded.This has been no easy feat and has taken much effort by the secretary to put in place all the measures needed to comply with the requirements laid down our thanks to her for her efforts.

From Rogers Ramblings the following Gem! A young son asked: " Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied: "That happens in every country,son."

Kingfisher are pleased to announce that an agreement has been reached between the club and Tees Sport for provision of team kit for our representative teams, outstanding discounts on the new equipment now in place in the club and ongoing deals for all club members, your committee have negotiated hard on your behalf to get the deals we have and we applaud Tees Sport for their decision to assist the club in this agreement.

A Question for the ladies. " What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for breath and calling your name? Answer You didn't hold the pillow down long enough

Extracts from hospital charts 1) The patient has no previous history of suicide 2)Patient was alert and unresponsive 3) She is numb from her toes down 4) the patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities plus many more in this issue

Jons Jottings are usually so lengthy that to tronspose them here in our newsletter page would necessitate my taking a weeks holiday, but this time he has trawled from some obscure magazine or data bank somewhere the following snippets from the American Courts. Attorney- What gear were you in at the moment of impact? Witness- Gucci sweats and Reeboks Attorney- Were you present when your picture was taken? Witness- Would you repeat the question? For more of the same se the current newsletter

Heard at a quiz night! Question! "Which famous author lost a son in the first World War" Our quiz team after much thinking hadn't a clue and eventually the answer was revealed as "Kipling" Cor that was ruddy 'ard exclaimed our team.

Kingfishers Ayonija Sundararajan has taken another step on the ladder of improvement. Ayonija recently travelled to Liverpool to the SENIOR grand prix where she entered band 2 and band 3, after an early exit from band 2 Ayonija gathered her thoughts and won the band 3 event beating the no 1 seed in the process. Full reports will be in the local press says coach Brian Halliday who is obviously delighted with the progress of this talented cadet.

Sarah Russo another of Kingfishers rising stars won both singles and doubles titles in the recent under 12 championships held at Kings Lynn.In the singles defeating our other up and coming cadet Ayonija Sundararajan in the semi final.In the doubles she teamed up with Martha Travis from Cornwall. Our congratulations to Sarah

Kingfishers own Ayonija Sundararajan became English schools under 11 champion recently beating the cream of 28 other counties players. This win follows her recent good results in the schoola international at Cardiff

Kingfishers up and coming Cadet girl Ayonija Sundararajan had an impressive weekend recently in Cardiff where she helped England win the under 11 schools championships. Following this she won bronze in the individual event narrowly losing 9-11 in the fifth game of the semi-final, all this and Ayonija has only been with the club and in table tennis competatively for around a year.

It is with much pleasure that the coaching team at the club are able to inform the members that Ayonija Sundararajan has been selected to represent The English schools in Wales in March 2005 our congratulations to Ayonija.

At a recent Grand prix event, Gareth Herbert made his one and only appearance. In the first round he was drawn against Bela Hegedus. " Bela has consolation event written all over him" commented Mark Banks

I ARRIVED ONE SUNDAY AT THE CLUB WITH BRIAN HALLIDAY, THE KINGFISHER SUPREMO DRIVING. AS WE PULLED UP IN THE CARPARK, BRIAN LOOKED ROUND AND SAID " I DON'T RECOGNISE ANY OF THESE CARS HERE, DO YOU JON?" "WELL", I REPLIED. "THAT GREEN CAR IS A RENAULT MEGANE AND THAT SILVER ONE IS A FORD FOCUS!!

We were away to OLOP and Geoff Davis, who turns up once a season whether he's needed or not,was umpiring the match between Geoff Civil and Richard Skellett. There was a brilliant point and we all applauded. "6-4, Skellett service", said GD. Two further wonderful points followed and we all applauded again. "5-7,Civil service",called GD.

It just so happened that the train pulled to a halt right outside the Loo's at Didcot station. A sign outside informed pasengers that " baby changing facilities " were available. The interesting point was that some sadistic wit had erased the "c" from the middle word. !!

A modern interpretation of Red Riding Hood submitted by Jack Ridley for this months newsletter shows the state of political correctness in today's world. Well worth a read !!

From Rogers Ramblings What it had to do with him I'm not sure, but Brian Halliday was assisting Christine Basden in the publication of the last newsletter. When I telephoned Brian. he told me what was going on, and how one little article ran a slight risk of some kind of offence. Brian continued "I'M with Christine now - not my wife,you understand, but the other one - and we are deciding whether we ought to put it in or not". " Don't say things like that to him of all people! " I heard a female voice in the background. Too late, Too late....

From Rogers Ramblings Brian Halliday, alias The Supremo.came round to see me the other day. The visit had something to do with the supply of keys for such minor members as matthew Syed,Terry Young and Gareth Herbert. I answered the door wearing my posh Clarke slippers, embroidered with little pictures and marked Mr Happy. " I've got a pair just like that" said Brian, but mine says Mr Grumpy

The Kingfisher club have entered two teams in the national cadet league. The "A" team conmprising Abhay gehlot, Tom Maynard, Ben Davis and Greg Beckett soon established an early lead in this southern region section of the competition by winning their first three matches . This was followed on the second half of the competition by a further three wins to maintain their unbeaten run. The "B" team made up of our second string of players Kuldeep Gehlot Richard Andrews and Jamie Fleming also had good experience at this level and all won games. the first team squad also entered the national Junior league against much older opposition they again proved to be a force to be reckoned with and won their first three matches in division three. Part two of this competition saw the team again take all three wins only to lose out on the title by a count back of sets won all in all this squad of cadets will hopefully carry the kingfisher club to more success in the coming years ( providing exams, girls,drink,parties etc.. and all the other stuff ) don't get in the way.

This edition carries trbutes to Ian Schwartz from Roger Woolven-Allen and the chairman Brian Halliday.

From Jons Jottings: Jon has received inspiration this time from table tennis catalogues. ( there's no accounting for taste ) In one catalogue, the Joola rubber Topspin Chopper is described as " The most amazing thing you've ever held in your hand ". Well I can't speak for everyone, but I personally would not entirely agree with this descriptionand bare in mind,I am a long standing member. Item 2 I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said " are you going to Help?" I said " No, six should be enough" Thanks Jon

From Rogers Ramblings: Periodically circling academia is this ; 1) If it wiggles its biology 2) If it stinks its chemistry 3) If it does'nt work its physics

No Jottings to show this edition but only because the articles are rather lengthy, more like small novels ,however well worth a look so get reading!!

Roger received an E-mail recently entitled 2003 It ain't arf true mum Enjoy these snippetts then obtain the rest. "You know you're living in 2003 when... 1) You accidently enter your password in the microwave 2) You e-mail your mate who works on the next desk 3) Your boss does'nt have the ability to do your job